WASHINGTON - Although no direct accusations have been made by the White House, this morning the Secret Service confirmed that the President's daily planner "disappeared" after former Governor Romney's lunch visit last week.
"Although the timing seems suspicious, our investigation is on-going," said Secret Service spokesman Robert Davies. "We cannot comment on any specific person-of-interest in this matter."
The White House, meanwhile, only mentioned the incident in passing. "It's important to note that the President's missing day planner contained nothing of a sensitive or national security nature," said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. "It was the President's personal day planner, containing mostly birthdays and personal reminders, including drafts of birthday and thank you cards among other things."
Representatives for former Governor Romney issued only a brief statement on the matter following questioning by the Secret Service yesterday. "It is patently absurd that the Governor [Romney] would steal the President's daily planner, especially such a cheap faux leather one. We are sure the matter will be resolved quickly, perhaps as early as January 17th, when the President's wife turns 49 and replaces it like last year."
Wall Street had no reaction whatever to the news, preferring instead to concentrate on rolling over and letting out a silent stream of intestinal gas, so that the FTSE -- spooning him at the time -- didn't notice.