HIDDEN BUNKER, MN - At a hastily called press conference in this bucolic northern plains town, IRREVERENT publisher Scott Meadow announced to incredulous IRS agents that IRREVERENT continues to be the world's funniest and unprofitable Internet magazine and not, and a potentially successful prediction site.
“Look I'm trying to run a money losing tax shelter here,” Meadow spluttered between bites of roast spotted owl, “When we run 'comedy' bits like 'Crude Oil Prices Soar on Trading Pit Sneeze' we expect all two of our readers to chuckle mildly to themselves and continue to not buy IRREVERENT merchandise. But when, a few weeks later, we read in Reuters about Wall Street firms getting H1N1 vaccine ahead of other, more vulnerable populations, well the next thing you know people are actually reading this rag to see what's going to happen next. Let me be clear, IRREVERENT is not in the prediction business. Clearly what's happening is that somebody is stealing our material.”
A spokesmedium for the Paranormal Workers Union, Local 294 disagreed with Meadow's assessment of IRREVERENT's business plan. “IRREVERENT is clearly in the prediction business,” said Madame Layla. “We have looked into the tea leaves and know that they see the future. If you need further proof, just look at Mr. Meadow's aura. That particularly sick green hue isn't a sign of illness, it's the result of contact with the spirit world. We don't know yet which ancient spirit is providing Mr. Meadow with his information, but the bastard better have a union card.”
Wall Street reacted indifferently to the reclassification of IRREVERENT magazine due to the number of traders robbing church donation boxes and taking candy from children. It did however issue a tersely worded statement saying “We have your wealth, now we have your health.”