WASHINGTON – Tweeting from the Oval Office today, President Trump announced the immediate sale of his “Best President Ever” commemorative coin for $99/each, with a limit of 100 coins to each customer. The profits will be donated to the Donald J. Trump Foundation, which the President was quick to remind us was “completely out of [his] control, totally out of [his] control” but “just a great, great company … staffed by great, wonderful people.”
Reloading his .308 hunting rifle, White House spokesman Sean Spicer fired two more warning shots at the White House Press Corps before continuing to explain the President’s seemingly unprecedented commercial venture for a sitting president. “This is a completely normal, uhh, thing for a president to do, promoting democratic values all over the world, particularly those interested in coin collecting,” Spicer explained.
“He’s keeping all the profits,” noted a Washington Post reporter.
“And using the U.S. treasury to mint the coins,” mentioned the New York Times.
This is pushing the boundaries of presidential hucksterism.“FAKE NEWS!” Spicer shouted, red faced, pointing at the assembled press corps. “BAD NEWS IS FAKE NEWS YOU’RE ALL FAKE NEWS!” At this time Spicer was tranquilized with several pulses from a high-powered taser and escorted to his office by the Secret Service.
“Say what you will, this is unprecedented presidential behavior,” said Jack Jackson, the James Jamison Chair of Political History at Harvard. “We’ve had president’s hawking stuff before – Kennedy once sold yachting jackets, Dick Nixon offered a plate once with his likeness. Truman had a brand of cigar back in the 40s, Obama, well, he wrote a book, which really isn’t the same thing. But to use the U.S. mint to sell a commemorative coin for private profit? This is pushing the boundaries of presidential hucksterism. Even Nixon donated the $1,000 he ended up making on those cheap plates to the Flat Earth Society.”