Written by Scott Meadow
Once again we're at a time of year when we toss all rationality into the snowbanks (or receding toxic hurricane slurry) and believe instead in very bizarre things. I'm talking, of course, about the belief that an extremely obese
man -- in a flaming red costume no less -- will sneak uninvited into our homes while we're asleep (a felony), and -- instead of robbing and killing
us -- leave us with a pile of presents and then vanish, leaving everything else we own undisturbed
, except for a few cookies and an unrefrigerated glass of milk. Grown people, with responsible jobs who collectively control trillions of dollars of our national economy, pass this belief along to the smaller people in their households as well, usually accompanied by jovial renditions of their own over idealized stories of years gone by. These smaller people, besides for the small genetic gullibility inherited from the taller ones, otherwise would have been perfectly capable of becoming rational, responsible individuals with little to no need to believe in felonious fat guys. Here, have some nog.
Read more: The Fictitious Felonious Fatso