Moon Aliens

There are lots of ways to warm up to watch the SuperBowl, almost all of them involving alcohol. This year was no exception for me, and having a few hours to kill, decided to click on "Aliens on the Moon (2015)," a two-and-a-half star documentary about extraterrestrial beings who are currently living on the lunar surface, or perhaps underneath it. Needed something to keep my buzz going.

Seems that there's a group of folks out there who do NOT think the moon landings were faked in a sound stage somewhere, they accept that we really did go to the moon, just that some alien dudes beat us to it and started building a bunch of random shit all over the place for no apparent reason.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof, so as evidence they have a lot of pictures like the ones shown here, along with a guy (left) who says that Neil Armstrong told NASA on another radio channel that alien beings were on the lunar surface and watching them, no doubt complaining in their alien language about how property values will undoubtedly plummet thanks to these litterbug ape-descendants.

Besides this guy saying Armstrong said this, nothing else is presented to corroborate.

But wait they have more. They have lots and lots and lots of blurry segments of the lunar landscape that are blown up a zillion times to show black, gray and white splotches that are supposed to "prove" that nothing else could've possibly created such blots except a highly advanced race of extraterrestrials from gazillions of miles away.

They also have an expert "image analyst," who stares thoughtfully and solemnly at these splotches and looks authoritative. He concludes almost nothing of value so we head back to more Rorschach Tests to gaze at a "potential underground nuclear facility," an enormous "radio telescope" presumably so the aliens can phone home, and what appears to be a "canon" or something that may be pointed at earth for some reason, which they then go on to speculate about.

Although they didn't talk about it in "Aliens on the Moon," pareidolia is the human tendency to see meaningful shapes or sounds in abstract patterns or noise, like seeing a cheetah in the clouds, hearing dead grandma's voice on the baby monitor, or looking at pieces of the lunar surface and seeing "massive buildings and structures" instead of a random rock formations with overlapping reflections and shadows. Yeah that probably would've been a buzz kill for the producers.

Anyway, for those still nursing that post-SuperBowl buzz, hop over to Amazon Prime and give the moon aliens thing a shot. If nothing else, it's great background noise while you play poker on your phone.

Illustrations: screenshots