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HOLLYWOOD - Project Runway producer Elle Wachowski today announced that next season would feature a walk-on by "underwear bomber" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab.

In the segment each contestant will have to create "attractive, yet functional" underwear for "the international jet-setter on the go."In the segment titled "Is that a rocket in your pocket?", Abdulmutallab will introduce designers to an underwear design challenge, in which each contestant will have to create "attractive, yet functional" underwear for "the international jet-setter on the go." After the segment, Abdulmutallab will be remanded to federal custody by the heavily armed federal marshalls who will be within 15 feet of him at all times. For 90% of the marshalls, this will represent their one and only viewing of "Project Runway." For the other 10%, the culmination of a long and beautiful dream.

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WASHINGTON - White House aides today politely refused to start a round of the "Indian Poker" drinking game with President Obama.

Aides tried everything to avoid drinking with the president.The drinking game is a favorite of the president. It begins when each player is dealt a card they cannot look at from a standard deck of playing cards. Each person places that card on his or her forehead, revealing the card to the other players. The dealer begins by stating he or she has the highest card, and bets a number of sips of beer. Players who don't think they can win "fold," taking as many drinks from their beer that the current bet has established. The player who has the lowest card must drink the total of the bets. Play generally progresses until one or more players pass out or begin heavy vomiting.

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The Zanzibar's doorman was a total douchebag.NEW YORK - Finally feeling safe enough to discuss it, Brooklyn residents Josh Crabtree and Shane Day recounted their harrowing 20 minutes in "a world of lies and false hope" outside the red velvet rope of a Brooklyn nightclub last Friday night.

Wearing Affliction shirts and big smiles, Crabtree and Day spoke about their entrance into Club Zanzibar by the new "foreign-looking bouncer." They described long minutes held outside the club, the seconds punctuated by the screams of women inside the club, and the "total douche bag" of a bouncer.

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  1. G.O.P. Officially Renamed 'Gauntlet Of Power'
  2. Political Humorists Lament Weiner Loss
  3. Supercommittee Commissions Comic Series of Itself
  4. I.T. Worker Snickers Whenever Coworkers Say "Rack"

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