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CAMBODIA - During his historic trip to Cambodia last week, President Obama officially became the tallest person in the entire nation.
The President easily beat out Pheakdei Pho, who at six feet even was the tallest person in the nation until his arrival.
"It is a proud, hard-working and incredibly short nation," said President Obama, towering over Prime Minister Hun Sen. "Although it has a decades long history of massive human rights abuses, the United States remains hopeful that one day soon the two nations may enjoy much stronger bonds."
Read more: President Obama Becomes Tallest Person in Cambodia
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BEVERLY HILLS - Following his loss to President Obama, former Governor Mitt Romney moved his family into one of their "nicer" winter mansions this week in Beverly Hills.
"We've only been here once or twice since we purchased it, sometime in 2003 or 2007 or something," said Romney. "Following such a long and trying campaign, we feel a little rest and relaxation is well earned."
"We've forgotten what the family looked like," confessed Jeeves, the estate's head butler who has worked for the Romneys since the mansion was purchased. "Now that they're actually living here, it's going to be an adjustment, frankly. We've gotten ourselves into quite a nice routine, it'll be a shame to have our work disrupted by the owners actually living here."
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AMERICA - In a last minute frenzy of desperate, random action, Americans today will decide which candidate they believe will do the least amount of damage to the nation, President Obama, Governor Romney, or nobody at all by wasting their vote on one of the myriad of comical third-party candidates.
IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.
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