IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.
WASHINGTON - Today President Obama called the Information Assurance Directorate (IAD) at the NSA over issues he's having with his new Windows 8 desktop.
After being put on hold for nearly an hour, Greg Jensen, a Tech Support Specialist III at the IAD, eventually took the President's call and began walking him through the agency's elaborate troubleshooting flowchart.
"Have you made sure the RJ-45 cable is securely attached to your network card?" Jensen asked, according to a recording of the conversation IRREVERENT has obtained via a FOIA request.
"The what?" President Obama responded.
Read more: President Resolves Computer Issues with NSA Tech Support
CAMBODIA - During his historic trip to Cambodia last week, President Obama officially became the tallest person in the entire nation.
The President easily beat out Pheakdei Pho, who at six feet even was the tallest person in the nation until his arrival.
"It is a proud, hard-working and incredibly short nation," said President Obama, towering over Prime Minister Hun Sen. "Although it has a decades long history of massive human rights abuses, the United States remains hopeful that one day soon the two nations may enjoy much stronger bonds."
Read more: President Obama Becomes Tallest Person in Cambodia
BEVERLY HILLS - Following his loss to President Obama, former Governor Mitt Romney moved his family into one of their "nicer" winter mansions this week in Beverly Hills.
"We've only been here once or twice since we purchased it, sometime in 2003 or 2007 or something," said Romney. "Following such a long and trying campaign, we feel a little rest and relaxation is well earned."
"We've forgotten what the family looked like," confessed Jeeves, the estate's head butler who has worked for the Romneys since the mansion was purchased. "Now that they're actually living here, it's going to be an adjustment, frankly. We've gotten ourselves into quite a nice routine, it'll be a shame to have our work disrupted by the owners actually living here."
IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.
IRREVERENT is a parody of a news magazine, and opinions, random thoughts, gestures, gesticulations, comments, bizarre rantings or anything anyone on the planet (or elsewhere) may possibly find objectionable, actionable, stupid, pointless, and/or misleadingly silly may or may not be shared by the management of IRREVERENT Publishing, LLC. Celebrity voices in the IRREVERENT Podcast are impersonated. People, products or services mentioned or depicted in IRREVERENT Magazine are referenced only for criticism or comment, and are not intended to imply an endorsement of IRREVERENT nor any other product or service unless explicitly stated otherwise.