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Written by IRNewz

WASHINGTON - Following last week's second presidential debate, a new IRREVERENT/MILF Jugs Magazine poll reports that 63% of all Americans believe that a "high" Federal income tax rate is the "most important issue facing the United States," especially dominant among those who don't pay them.

The poll asked 1,566 randomly selected Americans to choose among several options which one was the most important issue facing the United States over the next four years.  The results are summarized below:

63% - High federal income tax rates
7% - International terrorism
10% - Domestic terrorism
7% - Low job growth
3% - Energy dependence on foreign nations
25% - Dealing with another Kim Kardashian, Kanye West sex tape

The extra 15% in the poll reflect respondents who selected both a policy issue and the terrifying possibility of another "accidentally leaked" Kardashian sex tape.

Read more: Poll: Federal Taxes Most Important Issue To Americans Who Don't Pay Them

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Written by IRNewz

WASHINGTON - Following last night's vice-presidential debate, Congressman Paul Ryan [R] proved himself equally able to "sit around... and wait for a President Romney to expire... as Biden is with Obama."

"Now that everyone has a firm grasp of American fiscal policy," Ryan explained to the camera, pointing to slide 873 of his PowerPoint presentation, "let me digress for a brief hour into why I am as qualified as Vice-President Biden to sit around, essentially like a piece of office furniture, and wait for a President Romney to expire."  At this point, Ryan changed slides, and walked through a long list of reasons, but by then the final remaining person watching the debate switched off the T.V. as he fell into a deep, dreamless, drunken sleep.

"Ha ha ha," Vice-President Biden said before yawning.

Read more: Ryan Proves He's Equally Able to Wait for His President to Die

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Written by IRNewz

WASHINGTON - As the week opens, both the Ryan and Biden camps continue to prep their candidate for Thursday's vice-presidential debate.  Congressman Paul Ryan is scheduled to spend the week rehearsing his planned three hour walk-through of the United States annual budget, while Vice-President Joe Biden is rehearsing a set of carefully chosen blunders, gaffes and off-the-cuff-thought-the-mic-was-off remarks that are hoped will push him over the edge and guarantee him four more years of waiting for President Obama to die.

"[Congressman] Ryan is determined to that the American public come away from the debate with a thorough -- some say ridiculously thorough -- knowledge of United States fiscal policy and each one of his 712 proposed, detailed policy reforms," said Jack Blum, a political consultant for the Ryan campaign.  "So far he's got just shy of three hours of spoken material, nearly 900 PowerPoint slides, and a 120 page handout that has already been mailed to every registered voter in America.  Check your mail.  It weighs about a pound."

Read more: Ryan Bones Up on Tedious Fiscal Policy Items, Biden Practices Blunders and Gaffes