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AMERICA - In a last minute frenzy of desperate, random action, Americans today will decide which candidate they believe will do the least amount of damage to the nation, President Obama, Governor Romney, or nobody at all by wasting their vote on one of the myriad of comical third-party candidates.
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- Written by IRNewz
WASHINGTON - In the aftermath of Monday's final presidential debate, uncommitted American voters remained sharply divided between those merely bored with the seemingly endless marketing of each political candidate and those longing for "an iron fisted fascist leader to relieve them of the burden of free elections" once and for all.
"It's a fairly typical effect we see this late in an election cycle," said Professor Bonnie Simpson, IRREVERENT's senior political science advisor and author of Why Vote for Losers? Practical Politics for the Uncommitted. "With the record breaking levels of money in this election, however, we're seeing the effect much more, well, effectively."
Today's IRREVERENT/Senior-Slut (65 yrs +) Magazine poll confirmed the real-time results from Monday's debate: a 49/49% split, with 2% too busy building doomsday shelters/stockpiling Dinty Moore stew for the upcoming 2012 apocalypse to voice an opinion either way.
Read more: America Divided Between the Bored and Those Longing for Fascism
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- Written by IRNewz
BOCA RATON - The eyes of Ohio are focused today on Lynn University where in a few short hours two people will attempt one last time to sway undecided Ohio voters. For some reason the debate will be broadcast nationally.
IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.
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