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MILWAUKEE - Local governments this week avoided much wear and tear on snowplows by avoiding plowing snow.

"Luckily, we had ample warning of accumulation this week to prepare," said Superintendent Ralf Gerbic of the Milwaukee Public Works department. "We had plenty of time to tell the guys to relax and not rush out or anything the morning of our largest snowfall to date. We find that the more time the snowplows are out there, physically plowing snow, the less useful lifetime they end up having. The depreciation is killer, and besides, this way they're not out there blocking traffic during the morning rush hour."

Read more: Municipality Avoids Snowplow Wear, Creates Jobs

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PITTSBURGH - The Secret Service confirmed today that they'd mistakenly pushed a mannequin into Romney's limousine yesterday.

"We are deeply embarrassed over the mistake," said Secret Service spokesman Milo Thompsett. "It was nearly 10 minutes until the agent in charge realized what happened and went back for the candidate at the mannequin factory. Thankfully Mr. Romney hadn't moved, and in fact held his smile exactly the same way, despite the fact that everyone had left."

In the limousine, Romney's wife Ann carried on the conversation they'd been having, and didn't realize she was talking to a men's clothing mannequin until the secret service informed her.

"Once I'd left Mitt at Macy's in much the same way," confessed Mrs. Romney. "Liked the suit so much, actually, I'm pretty sure I bought it for him when I returned the dummy back to the store."

Read more: Romney Mistakenly Left Behind In Mannequin Factory

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DALLAS - Local man Herbert Fuzz knows it's wrong, but can't help thinking about Godzilla movies when visiting his friend John Lee.

Lee, a Korean-American, has been friends with Fuzz for over 10 years and isn't bothered about his friend's vaguely racist behavior. "Herb's a good guy," said Lee, "I'm pretty sure it's a subconscious thing. He loves Godzilla movies, and he knows I'm Korean, not Japanese."

Fuzz has felt terrible about this ever since his new girlfriend pointed it out last weekend. "When [Fuzz' girlfriend] Cindy told me I'd only talk about Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla whenever John [Lee] came over to our table at Hooters, I told her she was full of it," explained Fuzz. "A whole group of us was out, and I was sure I was talking Godzilla with everyone. I told her she was wrong, but the more I thought about it, she was totally right. I'm not trying to be racist or anything, I don't know why I'm doing it."

Read more: Man Always Mentions Godzilla Movies When Seeing Korean Friend